


To Take Your Innocence

by 3988Akasha



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Brothels, Exhibitionism, M/M, Murder, Prostitution, Torture, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 16:36:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3988Akasha/pseuds/3988Akasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miles runs a whorehouse in Chicago and things get interesting when Drexel, who's meant to just deal the heroin, decides to start making decisions about the whores, too. Miles doesn't react well to Drexel making business decisions about his whores, especially the new guy, Sebastian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Take Your Innocence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Steph_Schell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_Schell/gifts), [Castiloki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiloki/gifts).



> I blame tumblr...you're all insane. This was meant to be simple sex...that didn't exactly happen.

Miles had never seen a more beautiful kid in his whole life, and okay kid was a bit of a stretch, but he did have nearly 10 years on the guy. Plus, the blond curls and the innocent blue eyes didn’t do much to help him look older, which was good for Miles. People paid extra for boys who still looked like boys. The kid, Sebastian, was new, which also meant more money for Miles who could charge a premium fee for the novelty. It was also nice to have a rent boy who wasn’t strung out all the time and, more importantly, didn’t want to be strung out all the time. He’d been around for a couple of months, which in the old world would have been an eternity, but now, with information traveling slowly and people even slower, two months didn’t even count as a test drive. 

“There’s a new wave of soldier boys coming our way soon,” Drexel said as he helped himself to some of Miles’ whiskey.

Miles feigned interest as he watched the man knock back a good four fingers of the good stuff and swore once again that he’d kill the man the second he ceased being useful. Why’d he forget to lock his door again? Why didn’t people knock? Militia units were usually good for business, except for that one time when things had gotten out of hand and he’d had to bury the soldier boys out back and bribe the group that had come searching for them with free whores and heroin. At least some of that exchange had been legal, thank god for the perversities of the Republic. With a grimace, Miles shook the thoughts from his mind.

“And Strausser is coming for his next shipment of heroin,” Drexel added.

“That’s your problem.”

“Not exactly.”

“What did you do, Drex?”

“I might have mentioned the new boy.”

Miles closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Now why would you do that?”

Drexel shifted his weight nervously, but he kept edging closer and closer to the door. “He was making excuses for paying less and less for the heroin. I can’t afford to lose his business, Miles. The militia is one of our biggest clients.”

“I know, but the man is a psychopath. The last time he was in here…”

“I know, Miles, I do. But, what else was I going to do?”

“Uh, say no?”

“You said it yourself, he’s a psychopath. I can’t say no to him. _We_ can’t afford to say no to him.”

Miles raked a hand through his hair. “How long?”

“By the end of the week.”

“That’s tomorrow.”

Drexel shrugged. Miles reminded himself that he did still need the man, even if everything in him wanted to reach out and snap his neck.

“And the soldiers?”

“Also tomorrow.”

Miles nodded. He stood and walked over to his desk to pour himself a strong drink. He hoped that if he ignored Drexel long enough the man would take the hint and just leave him in peace. Things were going to be tense for the next couple of days and he needed to think. He was running out of places to bury the bodies. He needed time to come up with a plan that would hopefully convince Strausser to leave Sebastian alone and not cost anyone any business. A day wasn’t exactly enough time to come up with a reasonable plan, let alone a good one.

“Miles!”

“What is it now?” Miles asked the young woman who’d burst into his room. Her cheeks were red and the faux eyeliner the girls made from stuff Miles didn’t want to think about was running down her cheeks.

“It’s Nora, Miles. You need to come see.”

Miles swore under his breath. He followed the girl downstairs to where Nora was being supported by two of his men. They managed to get her down to the doctor, who quickly snipped of the remnants of her clothes and went to work on removing as much of the blood and grime as possible.

“What happened?”

“We found her like this, boss. She wasn’t back on time, so we went after her, and she was lying in the floor like this.”

“And the _client_?”

“Danny’s out looking for him.”

“Is he militia?”

“No.”

“Good. You know what to do.”

“Which pasture?”

“East. West is getting a bit crowded.”

Nora moaned and Miles leaned over her, pushing the matted mess of hair off her face. “Sssshhh, it’s okay Nora. Doc’s gonna fix you up.”

She managed a small smile and a slight nod. Miles pressed a kiss to her forehead before leaving the doctor to his work. The man was good at what he did, and he knew the penalty for failure. When he turned to leave he saw Sebastian standing in the doorway, his too young eyes showing his sadness. There were times when Miles hated what he did for a living because he could remember when Nora had the same innocence in her eyes, an innocence he’d snuffed out years ago. He consoled himself, in dark moments, with the knowledge that he never took people off the streets, or kidnapped them from their houses like other _establishments_ were known to do. Everyone here came to him of their own free will. And he did his damnedest to ensure they were as safe as they could be in this particular iniquitous lifestyle.

“Piss poor comfort now,” Miles mumbled to himself.

Sebastian must have heard him though, because his eyes softened even more and Miles fought his irrational urge to lash out at him, to forcibly stamp out that last bit of humanity because it was stinking up the place. But, he was drawn to it regardless of his better judgment. Something about the young man just got under his skin. He’d recognized the desperate, lost look Sebastian had on his face when he’d shown up on Miles’ doorstep. The way he hadn’t said anything, just let the rain drip from the ends of his hair, the way he looked behind him as though something was chasing him. Something he’d never be able to run away from, but knew he’d never escape. Miles sighed. He wouldn’t have to wait long for the light to leave his eyes though, not with Strausser hell bent on having him. The thought of it churned his stomach, but Strausser was one of the few men Miles couldn’t kill, couldn’t risk it. He was one of the President’s pets, and that made him off limits, even with his psychopathic tendencies.

“Miles – ”

“Not now, Sebastian. Not now. Just…take the night off. Have Nate cover any clients you have.”

“Miles?”

“Damn it, don’t question me. Just do as you’re told. And take a bath.”

Miles hated himself a little for being the one to cause the boy to look like a kicked puppy, but he was about to feed him into the meat grinder, so the least he could do was give him a night off. One night where he wasn’t subject to the debauched fantasies of the Republic. With one last glare, Miles brushed past him and retreated back to his room. This time he made sure to lock the damn door. Sebastian never said much to anyone, mostly kept to himself, but people liked him, people flocked to him as though he was the sun. When he did speak, his voice was soft, and comforting. And, unlike Miles who said whatever popped into his head at any given moment, Sebastian seemed to think though the things he said, so that when he spoke what he said _mattered_.

His peace lasted a few hours, which he should have been happy about, but nothing seemed to be able to pull him from his foul mood. He knew that if it was Drexel at the door he’d shoot him, law and common sense be damned. With that in mind, he specifically left his pistol and his sword and his dagger and the letter opener he didn’t remember picking up on his desk as he went to open the door. It wasn’t Drexel and that should have done something to improve his mood, but it didn’t. Because Sebastian was standing in his doorway, curls still slightly damp from the bath, and a concerned, but determined, look in his eyes.

“What?” Miles was going for polite, but like the rest of his day, that didn’t exactly work out for him. At least he hadn’t slammed the door in his face like he’d first intended.

Fortunately, Sebastian didn’t flinch and Miles focused on not letting that piss him off more because he didn’t _want_ the man to flinch, but damnit why was he standing in the doorway looking like he just wanted to hug Miles until the world ended around them? And, why was that suddenly appealing to Miles? He couldn’t afford thoughts like that, not in his line of work. Not with anyone, and especially not with one of his employees. That’s what they were, after all. The ones he took to his bed, well, he took them all to his bed eventually, but that was to be sure of his product. Like taste testing, but with whores. He didn’t want to take Sebastian to bed, not like the rest of his whores. Realistically, he’d have to, if for no other reason than to avoid signs of favoritism, and he wasn’t a saint…he wanted Sebastian. Wanted to feel him beneath him, feel his mouth around his cock, but he wanted so much more. It was because of those damn eyes, the ones that looked straight through all his bullshit.

“Have you eaten?”

“No.”

The question was so unexpected Miles answered honestly, without really thinking about it.

“I didn’t so,” Sebastian continued as though they’d had this conversation a million times before.

He pushed his way past Miles and it was then that Miles noticed the plate of food he had in his hands. Unable to do anything else, Miles closed the door behind him and followed Sebastian over to the table. It was surreal, really, but Miles still sat down in the chair Sebastian indicated, and began eating the food. It was only once he’d started eating that he realized exactly how hungry he was. Sebastian didn’t say anything, didn’t try to fill the silence that was surprisingly not awkward. Instead, he walked around the room as though he’d been invited and pulled a book off one of the shelves. Miles wanted to object, but he wasn’t exactly sure what he would be objecting to so he kept his mouth shut and kept eating.

Sebastian started reading. “’My life has been a life of trouble and turmoil; of change and vicissitude; of anger and exultation; of sorrow and of vengeance. My sorrows have all been for a slighted gospel, and my vengeance has been wreaked on its adversaries – ’”

“’Therefore, in the might of heaven I will sit down and write: I will let the wicked of this world know what I have done in the faith of the promises, and justifications, by grace, that they may read and tremble, and bless their gods of silver and gold, that the minister of heaven was removed from their sphere before their blood was mingled with their sacrifices.’”

Miles didn’t know what had possessed him to jump in and continue the passage, nor did he know why Sebastian had chosen one of his most often read books. There was a silence between them now that was heavy with something that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Miles admitted to himself that he found the sound of Sebastian’s voice soothing and now regretted his interjection because he wanted to hear him read more.

“I didn’t know you were a philosopher,” Sebastian said, breaking the silence.

Miles rolled his eyes. “Hardly, simply a confessed sinner.”

Sebastian smiled as though they had shared in some common meaning, in some sort of joke or private dialogue known only to them. It gave Miles a weird feeling in his gut because he knew how dangerous it could be to become familiar with someone in his line of work. It wouldn’t do for him to become attached to one of his employees. Things became so much more complicated whenever cumbersome emotions were involved.

“Thanks for the food, Sebastian.”

Fortunately, he seemed to know a dismissal when he heard one, but it didn’t keep him from giving Miles a look full of something that Miles refused to acknowledge because it was too close to understanding. It was too much for him to think about, to process, one of his whores pitying him for reasons he couldn’t begin to fathom.  

Miles was alone in his bed that night, too distracted for sex, a position that had everyone in the house whispering about his health. Rarely did his conscious interfere with his business, but when it did, it usually cost him a good deal more than money. The fact that he’d even thought about calling Sebastian to his room should have been enough of a reason for him to take a few days and go…well, anywhere. Or to assign Sebastian to one of the long-term clients, but he couldn’t bring himself to do either. The thought of leaving the business to Drexel with the militia and more importantly Strausser due was enough to make him to stay. He simply ignored the sharp pang he felt at the thought of Sebastian away from the mansion for more than a night.

Unable to sleep, Miles lit the lamp near his bed and walked over to get the book from where Sebastian had left it, as though knowing Miles would seek it during the night. He ran his fingers over the worn leather spine, the gilded lettering faded with age. Books were one of the few things he could still take true pleasure in; everything else always had strings attached.  Miles reread the passage, the same one Sebastian had quoted earlier, a dozen times before he gave up on the book. Frustrated, he slammed the cover and pushed back from the table. He poured himself a drink, pacifying himself by saying it was a nightcap, but he knew better.

Miles left his room just as dawn was breaking, the bags under his eyes irrelevant and hopefully not as noticeable as he thought they were. If previous trips were any gauge, the militia would here early, giving the men as much time as possible with the whore of their choice. After grabbing a cup of coffee from the kitchen, Miles made his way downstairs to check on Nora, hoping she could be moved into a more private part of the house, somewhere with better locks.

She was awake and talking with the doctor when he came into the room.

“How’s she doing?”

They both jumped a bit and when the doctor glared at him, Miles had the grace to look chagrined. He wasn’t trying to sneak up on them; it was just a habit he’d developed over the years.

“Better, I’ve given her something for the pain around her ribs. Nothing’s broken, but there is a lot of bruising. Everything else seems to be minor bruises, a few cuts that will heal without scars.”

Miles nodded absently to the doctor, his entire focus on Nora. She was one of his best girls. She didn’t cause him any trouble and she was really popular with the clients. Normally she could take care of herself, which was an added bonus, so it bothered him more when she came in all beat to hell. He reached forward and tenderly traced the edge of the purpling bruise on her cheek.

“Can I move her out of here?”

“You can’t be serious? She’s in no state to work.”

Before he could talk himself out of it, Miles punched the doctor hard enough to have blood dripping from the split in his lip.

“I meant into another part of the house.”

Miles glanced at Nora who was hiding a smile behind her hand and he felt himself relax just a bit. He never took Nora to bed anymore, not because she was unwilling, or because he didn’t enjoy her company, it was more a mutual understanding they’d come to at some point over the years. While she was never shy about calling him on his bullshit, she still knew how to be respectful about it. If she really wanted to rip him a new one, something she’d done on more occasions than Miles was willing to admit, she had the sense to do it behind closed doors.

He held his hand out to her and they left without a word to the doctor who could hopefully see to his own split lip. They walked in silence to a different, rarely used part of the house. It was kept in good repair, as was everything else, but Miles kept this part as much of a secret as possible. Sometimes things got a little touchy, men and some women had a tendency to get a bit too attached to their hired date and Miles needed a safe place to hide his employees.

Miles unlocked the door and ushered Nora into the room. She looked around before settling down on the bed.

“Care to tell me what happened?”

“Two guys jumped me from behind. I could have handled the one, but they landed a solid blow to my kidney and I don’t remember a whole lot after that.”

Miles ran a hand through his hair. “Danny’s out looking for them.”

“He’ll find them, Miles. Don’t worry about me. Why’ve you got me in the panic room anyway?”

Miles smiled at her moniker for the room, maybe a bit extreme, but accurate enough. “Militia’s coming in today. And I don’t need them getting any ideas about you.”

“That’s not what’s causing the squint in your left eye,” Nora replied.

He laughed. “No, it’s not. Militia’s coming…and Strausser. Drexel made another heroin deal with him.”

“Heroin’s his thing. He always sells it to Strausser.”

“He ‘mentioned’ Sebastian. To Strausser.”

“Miles, you can’t let him have anyone, especially not the new guy,” Nora’s voice was earnest.

“I know, damnit. I know. I’m hoping I can talk him out of it, but if he insists…I’ll only have two options and neither one of them is any good.”

“You know what he did to Mia.”

Miles hung his head. “I know.”

 

“Major Neville,” Drexel greeted warmly.

Neville took off his sunglasses and peered around the mansion as though he’d not been in it a dozen times over the years. Miles just managed to not roll his eyes, never impressed by the man’s pompous attitude.

“Miles.”

“Tom.”

“I trust our arrangement is still the same?”

“Payment upfront, your men bunk here and…no broken merchandise,” Miles replied.

Neville smiled and Miles felt his lip curl up a bit. He didn’t like it when any of the militia came through, even though they were his largest source of income, but he really hated it when it was Neville’s contingent.

Tom held out a bag Miles knew would be full of more gold than he usually made in a month, and he made a lot of gold in a month. With a forced smile, Miles took the bag and ushered the group inside.

“Miles Matheson.”

Miles stiffened when he heard Strausser’s voice. Usually, Drexel’s heroin deals didn’t coincide with anything Miles needed to be around for and he could take an extended vacation to somewhere far away. He’d hoped he wouldn’t have to interact with the insect at all, but he should have known good luck wasn’t going to strike him now.

“Corporal,” Miles greeted as he turned around.

“Oh, I’m a sergeant now.”

Miles felt his whole face twitch. “How nice for you.”

“I understand you have a new…acquisition for me.”

“Your business is with Drexel. You know that.”

“That’s not what I was lead to believe, Miles. We wouldn’t want any unnecessary complications. No need to bring Big Brother into this, now is there?”

Miles clenched his hand into a fist so hard he felt his nails pierce the skin.

“Of course not,” Drexel interjected smoothly, shooting Miles a glare. “I have a room set aside for you. He’s already up there.”

Strausser smiled and winked at Miles. “He told me it’s a blond boy. I feel spoiled. You do know how much I adore peaches.”

“We do aim to please. Miles knows it’s all just fun and games.”

Miles gave a tight smile and walked away. He couldn’t do anything about it, not now. Not with half the militia in his mansion. Not with Tom and _I’m a Sergeant now thank you_ Strausser here. Every fiber in him urged him to pull his sword and start slashing necks. Bury them all out in the far pasture, or hell, bury them in the next pasture over, but that would be reckless. Sometimes Miles feared he was far too pragmatic for his own wellbeing.

 

“How bad is it?” Miles asked when Danny walked into his room the following morning.

“Bad.”

Miles nodded his head, pushed back from his desk and ignored the way the room began spinning around him. He’d spend the better portion of the night drinking himself into a near coma. Danny gave him a concerned, but understanding look as he helped Miles to the room in the east wing that Drexel had set up for Strausser. Even his most horrific imaginations couldn’t prepare him for what he saw when he walked into the room. Miles just managed to dump some flowers out of a vase before he emptied whatever the hell was in his stomach, but even after vomiting, acid churned dangerously in his stomach.

Sebastian was face down, spread-eagled on the bed, hands and feet tied to the posts like a virginal sacrifice. There were rope burns at the contact points, dried blood flaking off and falling to the floor. Dozens and dozens of little cuts littered his back, most were dried and healing, but some were still oozing blood. His ass looked like one giant welt, and Miles refused to look at the blood there. He heard Sebastian moan a bit, the sound so small and broken Miles wanted to die on the spot.

“Untie him,” Miles told Danny.

Together they carefully undid the ropes and helped Sebastian stand, since putting him on his back wouldn’t work. There was the same labyrinth of cuts on his torso and his hips. None of them were deep, but they were all an angry red that had Miles concerned. Every inch of exposed skin was covered in dark bruises. He searched Sebastian’s face, but it was as spotless as it had been when Miles had last seen him.

“Nothing will scar. That’s what he said. But, it hurt…it hurt everywhere. Like being set on fire,” Sebastian mumbled, voice hoarse.

Miles cupped Sebastian’s face, read the pain in his eyes. “It’ll be okay. Danny’s going to take you down to see the doctor. It’ll be okay.”

“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it, Miles.”

Before Miles could move away, Sebastian kissed him. It was soft, but there was no denying it happened. There was meaning behind the kiss, but Miles refused to dwell on it at the moment. He needed to get to Strausser before he made it any further away from the mansion.

There was a horse saddled and ready for him as he dashed out of the mansion. He’d need to thank Danny later, if he wasn’t dead.  He pushed the horse into a gallop, following the main road to the east. The militia wouldn’t be moving terribly fast after a night of drugged out debauchery and Miles was thankful for that. It would make them sluggish and Miles needed all the advantages he could get. Miles caught up to them quickly, but stayed back enough to not be seen. He waited until they made camp for the night and then he snuck into their camp to hunt for Strausser. It took him most of the night to search the camp and he had to hide in the woods a few times to avoid the night watch. By the time he’d located Strausser he could see the beginning of dawn. It wasn’t perfect because he doubted he’d have the coverage of darkness, but the long hours hadn’t made him any less determined to kill the man. It was still the best chance he had.

Miles put a hand over Strausser’s mouth as he pulled him out of the bed. With his other hand, Miles held a dagger to Strausser’s back, right over the kidney. As carefully as he could, Miles walked Strausser out of the camp. When they were as far away from the camp as Miles could risk, he removed his hand and pushed Strausser away from him.

“Was it worth it, _Sergeant_?”

“Oh Miles, you haven’t even made it challenging. I was doing you a favor, you know. Leaving him alive. I will admit, it was a challenge for me, since I do have a certain fondness for peaches. I thought, after I killed the brunette bitch and you let me live that I would need to work harder to get you this angry. A few cuts and bruises and you’re ready to kill me? I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for years. It seems my patience has paid off.”

Miles glared. “I’m going to kill you.”

“I know you are. It will be worth it to know I’m your undoing, Miles. You won’t be able to pay your way out of this one. They’ll come for you. Big Brother won’t save you this time.”

“Miles,” Tom called out. “Walk away. No one ever needs to know about this. Just walk away.”

“You know I can’t do that, Tom,” Miles replied.

It wouldn’t be as satisfying, but dead was dead so Miles decided it didn’t really matter in the end. There would still be a body to bury in the ground. He pulled a second dagger from his belt and threw it. Miles watched Strausser’s eyes widen, as though the man didn’t actually think Miles would go through with it. With a shaking hand, Strausser reached up and yanked the blade from where it had lodged in his jugular. While not as slow as he would have liked, Miles did take pleasure in the wet sound of the blood pouring from the now gaping wound. Strausser fell first to his knees then gravity took over and he fell flat on his face. Something about seeing him face first in the mud was funny to Miles, even though he knew he was dead.

“It’s okay, Tom,” Miles called, his eyes not leaving Strausser’s dead body. “I won’t fight you. I know you’ve gotta take me in.”

“Run home, Miles.”

Miles spun around to face Tom, confused. This wasn’t exactly how he’d seen things going. He was fully prepared for some sort of manhandling into cuffs and a quick gallop all the way back to Philly. Tom didn’t owe him any favors…Tom didn’t even really _like_ him. At best they’d always had a certain level of respect for each other. Tom had always been Ben’s favorite.

“I’ll report your crime to the proper authorities upon my return to Philly. Don’t run off on me, Miles. I will find you.”

“You know where I’ll be,” Miles replied. He didn’t know what else to say. It wasn’t much time, a month max. Ben had been more than helpful with getting the trains going again. Can’t have a functional shower, not really, but we can have trains. That was Ben for you, though. He wasn’t really into the details. Or collateral damage.

Miles gave Tom a nod before he dashed into the woods. He had no idea where the horse was, but didn’t want to waste time looking for it. No doubt Tom would use it as evidence for Miles’ crime. He meandered through the woods, glad he knew the area well. Tom’s men would be searching the area for him.

When he got back to the mansion, Miles ignored Danny’s questioning gaze, he’d answer questions later, once he’d had a minute to breathe.  He went down to the doctor’s office, pleased to see Sebastian was asleep. Nora smiled at him from her place by the bed. Miles tried to return her smile, but he couldn’t. Instead, he slumped into the other chair and held his head between his hands.

“Danny told me what happened. Is it done?”

“Yeah, it’s done.”

“You shouldn’t have done it, Miles. I know what I said earlier and I was wrong…what happened to Mia, it wasn’t your fault. What happened to Sebastian, it wasn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.”

“Yeah, well, it’s my responsibility.”

They fell in to silence. Miles couldn’t really regret his decision because it was long overdue. Maybe that’s why Tom had let him go, maybe Tom knew more about what really happened all those years ago in Philly than he’d ever let on…maybe Tom didn’t know anything. It didn’t matter, not anymore. Miles had done what he could, even if he felt as though it was just a little too late. Delaying it hadn’t saved anyone, hadn’t helped Sebastian or Mia. He wouldn’t have to live with his regret for too much longer.

“What now?”

Miles looked up, met Nora’s eyes. “Now I wait for my brother to come for me.”

“Miles – ”

“Don’t, okay. Just  don’t. I’ve been living on borrowed time, ever since I left Philly, you know that.”

Nora stood from her chair and put her hand on Miles’ shoulder. Miles reached up and squeezed her hand. He knew how close Nora and Mia were, knew how much it hurt her when she was brutalized. Death had been a mercy. Even if she understood the reasons Miles had for not killing Strausser back then, he knew she wouldn’t really ever forgive him. That was okay though, he didn’t blame her. At least he’d done the right thing eventually, hopefully that would be enough for her.

“Miles?”

“Sebastian,” Miles whispered. “How do you feel?”

“Fuzzy.”

Miles smiled. “Doctor gave you some of the good stuff then. Earned you a few days of R&R…hot baths, breakfast in bed.”

“Stop, Miles. Just stop. Tell me what you did, because we both know you didn’t listen to me.”

Miles rolled his eyes. “I don’t owe you an explanation. You still work for me. Rest up. I’ll have the doctor look in on you again.”

“Are you going to punch him again?”

“Only if you don’t get better.”

Miles didn’t say anything else, and he ignored the look in Sebastian’s eyes. He knew his path; he’d known his path for years. Now he knew how it ended. It wasn’t bad, as things go, not for him. He’d done what he could, even if he sometimes felt it was too little too late. He’d gotten Danny out of there; it had been too late for Rachel and Charlie.

 

“What did you do, Miles?” Drexel asked as he strode into Miles’ office.

Miles didn’t even bother looking up from his desk. It had been a week since he’d killed Strausser, and the body had shown up on his doorstep a few hours after he’d come back to the mansion. Maybe it was Tom’s sense of humor, if he had such a thing, or maybe it was just more rope for the noose. It didn’t really matter because Ben would come after him now to do what he’d meant to do years earlier. Drexel had glared at him when he and Danny had buried the body out back. No doubt upset about losing his best client. Miles had simply winked and gone back to burying the body deep.

“I mean, we had a good thing here, didn’t we? I scratch your back, you scratch mine. We both made enough gold to swim in. Why would you want to ruin that?”

“I didn’t.”

“You did, though. Funny enough people don’t want to do business with me, not after word got out about Strausser. Now, I hear you’re not selling whores anymore?”

“I’m selling plenty of whores. And, people will always want heroin.”

“See, here’s the thing, I’m not sure if you know this, but Sebastian – he’s a whore. Every time I send a client up to him, the client’s sent back, sans whore. Do you see the problem here?”

“Sebastian’s still recovering. I didn’t know you were moving into the prostitution business,” Miles said as he stood from the table.

Drexel held his hands out in front of him as Miles moved around his desk and closer to Drexel.

“Last I checked, I ran the whores, and you ran the drugs. That was the system,” Miles continued as he backed Drexel into the wall.

“You know what’s bad for business, Drex?” Miles asked. “Dead whores. Really bad for business.”

Drexel went to open his mouth and Miles slammed his forearm against Drexel’s throat, cutting off his air supply.

“Strausser was never meant to be near the whores. That’s on you, not me. So, how about you go back to tending your garden and leave real business to me, hm?”

Drexel nodded, his face an odd shade of purple. Miles nodded once and pulled back.

“And, Drexel?” Miles asked as Drexel hurried to the door. “Knock next time.”

 

“Nora’s concerned about you.”

“No one knocks anymore,” Miles mumbled to himself. “And Nora talks too much.”

“Whiskey doesn’t count as food, Miles.”

Miles glared at Sebastian, not surprised to see him lurking in the doorway. It had become a bit of a habit, Sebastian coming to his room around dinner, some cryptic comment designed to get Miles to open up about something. While killing Strausser might have been bad for Drexel’s business, it had been wonderful for his. He’d had half a dozen new employees come in during the past week and a half, rumors of how he took care of his whores spreading like wildfire through the Republic. Sometimes it made him laugh, thinking that rumors of his deeds would reach the capitol before Tom got a chance to deliver his death sentence. On those occasions, he wanted to be there to see the look on Randall’s face when he heard that his pet was killed by…well, he’d let Randall come up with some witty nickname for him.

“Eat this,” Sebastian shoved a plate of food in front of him.

“I don’t know why you keep trying,” Miles said, but he ate the food anyway. It was better than he expected. Maybe they’d finally brought in a new cook.

“For someone who doesn’t give a damn, you care a lot.”

“Just pick a book, Sebastian.”

“I’m surprised you never asked about me, about why I do this, why I came to your, what did you call it, den of iniquity.”

“Everyone has their reasons for coming here.”

“Oh I have no doubt. No one comes here if they have another option,” Sebastian laughed bitterly. “I’m sure I could have found a way to keep making money, to bribe for food, maybe even something honest. I might have too, but things changed. I had a family, once. Mother, father, two sisters and they even survived the blackout, survived the initial chaos that turned everyone into homicidal maniacs. We’d holed up in a little house somewhere in Virginia, we worked at finding ways to provide for ourselves, and for a few months, it looked like it was going to be okay, that we’d make it. Then we heard rumors about raiders working their way through the area and we weren’t stupid, we took precautions.

“I went out by myself, which I wasn’t supposed to do, but we needed more water and everyone was sleeping. I was young, and stupid. I figured I could go out, get the water and be back before anyone even knew I was gone. I made it to the lake and filled our containers with water, but by the time I made it to the house it was too late. The house was in flames, the raiders were gone, and I could see them running into the woods. There weren’t even bodies to bury. But they were all gone. I thought about ending it, one night I came really close, too. I’d set up gravestones, needing the closure and drank myself into a haze of peace. I drank until I was numb,” Sebastian paused.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I should have been in the house. I didn’t light the match; I didn’t kill my family, although it took me years to let myself believe that, but still. I know what it’s like, Miles. To feel like you’re living on borrowed time, to know the countdown has already begun so there’s no point in fighting the system. To feel as though you’re just biding your time, making the best of the crap hand you’ve been dealt.”

Miles looked up at Sebastian. He could see it, the truth of his story, the pain, and the hurt. Everyone had their reasons for coming. Even him, but if Sebastian thought this was some sort of even trade on their life stories, he was out of luck.

“So, like you said, Miles,” Sebastian said as he leaned in next to Miles’ ear. “Everyone comes here for a reason, even you.”

Miles closed his eyes; Sebastian’s breath was warm against his ear. He didn’t look up until he heard the door close behind Sebastian.

 

He didn’t come the next night, not that Miles was keeping track or anything. He didn’t come the next night either and Miles spent the majority of the night convincing himself that he didn’t care. It wasn’t like he needed the other man’s company. He’d done just fine without it for years, but those thoughts didn’t keep him from drinking too much and eating too little.

One night he’d even called Nora to his room, knowing it was her night off. She could have told him to go to hell, but she didn’t. It was like she knew, somehow, like she always knew. They didn’t do anything; they barely even spoke to each other. In fact, most of the night they just sat curled up on the couch watching the flames dance in the fireplace. It was the easy companionship of two people who knew each other too well. It helped him for a while. He was able to forget, forget the knowing look in Sebastian’s eyes, the way he silently told Miles that he would understand his reasons for coming here, for being a pimp. Miles believed him, knew that Sebastian would understand, wouldn’t judge him, even when he was unable to do that for himself. That’s what held him back, kept him from opening up…the only thing worse than rejection was acceptance. Atonement he couldn’t accept from himself and refused to take from those too gentle to know better. Even after all of it, all of abuse, no one got into the life without a lot of pain along the way, Sebastian was still gentle, still compassionate.

By the end of the week, Miles was going crazy. He missed hearing the lit of Sebastian’s voice as he read from whatever book he happened to choose, missed the way he walked into his room as though it was his right, missed the way his presence was comforting, even when he knew he didn’t deserve it. He pushed away from his desk and walked to Sebastian’s room. He had no idea what he’d say, or really why he was doing it, but he _had_ to see him. He raised his hand to knock, but decided against it; he didn’t need permission to enter any of the rooms in his establishment. Even though it felt a little like he was violating Sebastian’s privacy, in as much as a whore in a whorehouse could have privacy, he walked into the room without announcing himself.

The room was empty. It wasn’t as though the whores were resigned to the house or anything. For the most part Miles allowed them to be fairly autonomous, after all he was their pimp not their daddy. There were a million places Sebastian could be, some of them even in the mansion. He ignored the feeling of foreboding in his gut as he left Sebastian’s room.

“Danny,” Miles called. “Have you seen Sebastian?”

“He left a while ago,” Danny answered. “I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?”

“He’s on a job, Miles.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“For doing his job? Even for you, that’s a bit extreme.”

“Not Sebastian, Drexel. He doesn’t get to run my whores.”

Danny nodded, face full of more understanding of the world than someone his age had any right to know. Sometimes Miles felt like a cad for putting Danny in this life, exposing him to the basest form of human existence, but then he remembered what the alternative was, and well, there were worse fates than working in a whorehouse.

“Drexel’s in his office.”

Miles smiled at Danny. “Good. Let me know when Sebastian is back.”

Danny nodded and Miles went back to the other side of the house. He thought he and Drexel understood each other, understood how the business worked. Drexel ran the heroin, Miles never interfered with that _never_ , even when it brought the sociopath Strausser into his world again, Miles had kept out of it. But, Drexel just couldn’t let this one go, couldn’t understand the rules. He wondered what it was about Sebastian that caused Drexel to react like this, or maybe it really was just about killing Strausser. No more games. Drexel was never going to interfere with Miles’ business ever again; the man had already cost him too much. By the time he reached Drexel’s room he was beyond any sort of rational thought, his entire mind was a swirling mess of red and orange.

He kicked the door in, smiling at the sound of splintering wood. Drexel was fucking one of the new whores, a pretty brunette girl who’d come in with dirt under her nails and a vacant expression on her face.

“Out.”

She nodded and hastily retreated out of the room, not even bothering to cover herself with the bed sheet.

“Miles – ”

“I run the whores, you run the drugs. I thought we were clear on that.”

“We are, Miles. I’m simply covering my fees. Since you’ve interrupted my sales, it seemed only fair. Strausser was a big part of my business, and, well, you killed him. You killed my business. I’m simply making up for it with your new pet. Fetches quite a high price, too.”

Miles didn’t think as he closed the distance between them, didn’t hesitate as he pulled his arm back, didn’t feel the pain as his hand connected with the side of Drexel’s head. He didn’t give Drexel a chance to recover or to speak; he just kept punching, blinking the blood out of his eye.

“Miles, Miles, stop,” Sebastian’s voice was far away. Miles ignored it, went to hit Drexel again, but couldn’t. Something was holding his arm back.

He finally looked away from Drexel’s bloody face.

“It’s okay, Miles,” Sebastian said as though Miles were a cornered animal.

Miles wrinkled his brow and turned back to Drexel, determined to finish what he’d started. It was his fault Strausser had come back, his fault Miles was going to have to face his brother again. All his fault. He wasn’t ready to face his brother, not that he would ever be ready to…

“Miles, stay with me, Miles.”

Miles shook his head, not wanting to leave the red haze he was in, not wanting to let Drexel live. It was easier this way, not that it would fix anything, but it would be one less worm in the world, one less person helping keep the Republic going. He wasn’t a fool, he knew that Drexel’s deal only worked because he was the sole supplier for the entire area, that the Republic ensured he kept his business. It was lucrative for everyone. Heroin to keep the masses inline, a sedate people were easier to control…give them vices and they’ll comply. That was the company line. Miles knew he played his own part, knew whores were a big commodity, knew why he was so successful, and it wasn’t just his business acumen, no matter how much he liked to think it was.

“Miles, he’s not worth it. Don’t kill him.”

Sebastian’s voice was closer now, the sound less hallow in his ears. There were hands on him, pulling him back, warmth against his back, a familiar voice in his ear. He heard Drexel’s harsh breathing, he hadn’t killed the man. That should make Sebastian happy, that’s what he wanted. Miles pushed Drexel away from him, allowed Sebastian to drag him out of the room. His whole body was shaking, with rage, with so many repressed emotions he was sure he’d shake apart. There were familiar warm arms around him, and he knew they were the only thing keeping him together. He felt a glass of something shoved into his hand. He didn’t hesitate to knock it back, not caring if it was poison. He was dead already.

“Danny took Drexel down to the doctor, and I convinced Nora that you didn’t need to see the doctor, too, but she’s still going to bring some ice for your hand. Someday you’re going to tell me how you manage to get ice without power. Let me see you hand.”

Numbly, Miles held out his hand and hissed in a breath when Sebastian poured liquor over the cuts. He glared at Sebastian, but there wasn’t much heat behind it. Sebastian continued to wrap Miles’ hand and he dimly heard Nora come in, knew she and Sebastian talked about him, but it didn’t last long. The ice was cold against the bandage on his hand, but he knew it would keep the swelling down. Miles’ eyes felt heavy and the last thing he remembered was Sebastian laying him down on the couch.

 

“Do you know what I miss the most?” Miles asked as Sebastian entered the room.

It had been a few days since he’d nearly beaten Drexel to death and Danny had told him Drexel was healing nicely. They’d shared a smile, both knowing Drexel couldn’t afford to go out on his own, so he’d stay here with his tail tucked between his legs. Miles just hoped Drexel really understood his position now. Sebastian might not be able to talk Miles down a second time.

“Showers,” Miles continued. “Showers so hot that when you stand under the spray your skin stings and by the time you’re done, the whole tank is empty and your body is as red as a lobster. It’s the only way to really feel clean. Hot baths don’t do it. The crap falls off and you just sit in it, soak it in like a sponge. But, showers? Those have power. Those can wipe the grime off.”

Sebastian didn’t say anything, maybe sensing this was the answer he’d been searching for weeks. He set the tray of food down on the table and poured both of them a drink, movements slow and smooth. Unless his was fighting, Miles felt awkward in his movements, so unaccustomed to anything other than violence. He envied the ease with which Sebastian moved around the room.

“I know you’ve heard the rumors, there’s nothing else to do in a whorehouse, really. They talk. Some of it’s true…most of it’s true. My brother – ” Miles paused and took a long swallow of the drink Sebastian had poured for him. It’d been a long time since he’d talked about this with anyone.

“He and his associates they made the lights go out…a push of the button and instant chaos. No more power. Thousands dead in less than a day. Rumor is they don’t know how to fix it, but I don’t believe it. They know. Ben knows. We were close once, as kids. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done for my big brother. I idolized him. I didn’t know until later. About any of it. Maybe I could have stopped it, seen it coming – I don’t know. Randall, he convinced Ben that it was better this way, better with people scared and hopeless. I stuck around for a while, helped introduce _order_ , keep the peace.

“Everyone comes here for a reason, right? I ran. Packed my stuff, grabbed Danny and ran, never looked back. Stopped when I reached the edge of the Republic. With my last name, no one would take me in, and I wasn’t going to bring my brother’s wrath down on anyone else. He smiles more, Ben. People trust him, like him…and it’s usually the last mistake they ever make. It was little things at first, whispers of power, whispers of what caused the blackout. My brother’s the smartest man I know. I thought he was working to fix it. I found out the truth later. Overheard a conversation I wasn’t supposed to. I didn’t believe it at first. That just wasn’t Ben, not my brother.

“That’s when I met Strausser for the first time. He was one of Randall’s people, someone to help ‘keep the peace’. He man was a butcher, literally. He was also a sociopath. Got off on it. The only person he reported to was Randall. He was untouchable. Free to do whatever he pleased. Ben had a wife…two kids…he had everything I knew I’d never have. I’ve always been good at killing, at hunting. Not family. That was always Ben’s forte. It amazed me he ever let me around his family. I adored the kids, they were small when the lights went out. Strausser liked kids, too. Had a thing for blondes. Like everything, it started small. He’d call Charlie ‘peaches’ and she’d giggle. I didn’t like the way he looked at her, but he wasn’t my business. No one was going to touch Ben’s family. I should have known better, trusted my instincts. He attacked Charlie one night when Ben and Randall were down south dealing with border negotiations. Strausser was left to hold down the fort.”

Miles closed his eyes, the night coming back to him in Technicolor. He didn’t want to finish the story. Didn’t want to tell Sebastian about how Strausser had raped Charlie, how he’d beaten her body, broken both her arms, bitten off her tongue to keep her from screaming. He looked up when he felt Sebastian’s hand on his shoulder. There were tears in his eyes, as though he already knew how the story ended.

“It’s not your fault, Miles,” Sebastian whispered.

Miles wanted to believe him, just as he’d wanted to believe Nora, but he couldn’t. He hadn’t done anything, not really. He’d run away. Just like he’d done his whole life. Only this time, Ben wasn’t going to make him a tuna sandwich when he came home. He was going to kill him.

“Rachel, Ben’s wife, found Charlie’s body a few hours later. She knew, everyone knew – except Ben. Ben didn’t believe her. His own wife, and he didn’t believe her. She couldn’t prove it. One night, Rachel tried to kill Strausser. She gave him the scar he has on his cheek, but he overpowered her and took her to Randall. Told them she attacked him, that she’d tried to kill him. Clearly the grief of losing Charlie had been too much for her. They forgave her. Rachel, though, she wouldn’t let it go. She attacked Strausser again…Ben’s not a forgiving man. He ordered her shot. Strausser winked at me; we both knew the truth, but like Rachel, I couldn’t prove anything. I knew Danny would be next. I couldn’t think of anything else to do, so I bundled him up one night and left.”

Sebastian didn’t say anything, just held Miles in his arms. He could tell Sebastian was crying, but he didn’t have any tears left. He’d lost his whole family, save Danny, and hadn’t done anything until it was too late.

“They’re coming for me. Tom told them I killed Strausser. They’ll be here by tomorrow, maybe the day after.”

“Okay Miles,” Sebastian whispered before he crushed his lips against Miles’.

It caught him off guard for a moment, but he soon recovered and clutched Sebastian to him as though he was the last lifejacket on the _Titanic_. He poured everything into the kiss, everything he had left. Since he was as good as dead tomorrow, he figured it didn’t matter much if he indulged in what he’d been denying himself for weeks. He felt Sebastian’s hands fist in his shirt and smiled into the kiss. This was more than just one of his whores, even a well-meaning one, offering him comfort. He knew how whores kissed; this was nothing like it. Miles allowed this kiss to go on for a while before he pulled back. The pout on Sebastian’s face was adorable, but he ignored it.

“Not tonight, not like this. It feels too much like a dying man’s last wish.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know.”

Sebastian nodded and stepped back, if a bit reluctantly.

“You can still leave. I think you should, get as far from me as possible. Don’t let the Republic have a reason to come for you, too.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Miles.”

“I’m going to die tomorrow, Sebastian. There’s no reason for you to stay.”

“I’m staying.”

“You’ll die, too. You don’t know Ben…don’t know what he’s – ”

“Get this through your head, Miles. You die, I’m dying with you.”

Miles wanted to shake him, make him see reason…that’s what he was going to do when he reached for Sebastian, but what he ended up doing was kissing the stubborn bastard. He felt Sebastian moan into the kiss, felt his arms wrap around him. It was crazy and they were both going to die in the morning, but it felt less daunting, knowing he’d have someone by his side when the axe came down…and he’d tried to get Sebastian to leave him to his fate.

“Okay Sebastian,” Miles whispered as he pulled back.

Like he’d done with Nora days earlier, they curled up on the couch. Sebastian grabbed the book from where it always ended up, on the table and began to read.

“’Still I am living, though liker to a vision than a human being; but this is my last day of mortal existence. Unable to resist any longer, I pledged myself to my devoted friend, that on this day we should die together, and trust to the charity of the children of men for a grave. I am solemnly pledged; and though I dared to repent, I am aware he will not be gainsaid, for his is raging with despair at his fallen and decayed majesty, and there is some miserable comfort in the idea that my tormentor shall fall with me. Farwell, world, with all thy miseries; for comforts or enjoyments hast thou none!’”

He smiled at the choice of passage, and jabbed Sebastian in the side only to have the man laugh and keep on reading. With a smile on his face, Miles allowed the sound of Sebastian’s voice to lull him to sleep.

 

Miles dug his fingers into Sebastian’s hair as his hips began to thrust in earnest. He’d denied himself this for too long. Waking up with his arms wrapped around Sebastain was something he’d never forget, but this was good too, amazing really. There was something amazing about the heat of Sebastian’s mouth, about the way his tongue slid along the underside of Miles’ cock. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a blowjob anywhere near this amazing, which was probably why he’d forgotten to lock the door and why he didn’t notice the other person in the room until he heard his mocking voice.

“This is what all the trouble’s about.”

His eyes shot open and he glared at Jeremy as he slid his cock from Sebastian’s mouth. This is why he always locked his door. He wasn’t ashamed about his own nudity and smirked when he saw Jeremy’s eyes travel the length of his body, but he didn’t need Jeremy making Sebastian feel any more uncomfortable than he already did. Miles gently helped Sebastian to his feet.

“Put some clothes on,” he told Sebastian.

“No wonder you have so many clients, Miles. You do put on a marvelous show,” Jeremy commented as he removed his riding gloves.

Miles ground his teeth. Jeremy’s presence was unexpected. Miles would have sworn Ben would have come himself, or sent an entire contingent to ensure Miles made it back to Philly. Surprise aside, he’d known this was coming, but he’d wanted a bit more time, just a few more hours with Sebastian. He should have done this last night, but he hadn’t, it hadn’t felt right. Nothing ever really went the way he wanted it.

“What do you want?”

“You know why I’m here, Miles. You can’t kill members of the militia and expect a Christmas card.”

“I didn’t kill a ‘member of the militia’,” Miles replied as he poured three drinks. He handed one to Sebastian with as much of an apology on his face as he could manage before turning back to Jeremy.

“I killed a psychopath,” Miles said as he offered Jeremy a drink. “That deserves at least an honorable mention.”

“You shouldn’t have told me that. There’s nothing I can do for you now. Randall wants the person responsible.”

“Randall should learn to keep a tighter leash on his pets. I’m running out of room in the fields.”

“You know the law, Miles.”

“And Strausser knew the rules. He killed one of my employees and I let him live. I refused to make the same mistake twice.”

“You were well compensated for your loss.”

“Screw you, Jeremy.”

“I thought we’d already done that.”

Miles felt Sebastian stiffen behind him and hoped to god he’d keep his mouth shut. They had one chance of living through this. It had been years ago, and really, it wasn’t as though Sebastian was his _boyfriend_ or anything.

“Will you at least put some pants on?” Jeremy asked.

“Anything to make you more comfortable,” Miles replied with a courtly bow.

He walked past Sebastian, his hand lingering a bit too long on Sebastian’s hip to be accidental, but he couldn’t help himself. With an exaggerated ass shake that made Jeremy sigh, Miles pulled on his pants.

“What now?” Miles asked.

Jeremy pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want to take you in, Miles. But, I can’t go back without you.”

“Then don’t do either.”

Jeremy barked a surprised laugh. “You’re insane, you know? Not all of us can just run away from home and start a whore house.”

“Take Drexel,” Sebastian said.

The both turned to look at him. It was the first time he’d spoken throughout the entire exchange. Miles’ mind began to run through the possibilities. He’d wanted to get rid of Drexel for quite a while, but it was almost inhumane to send anyone to face Randall’s rage.

“It’s technically his fault, Miles,” Sebastian continued, his hand on Miles’ arm.

Miles’ eyes widened as he caught on to exactly what Sebastian was proposing. He saw the warm look Sebastian gave him and fought the urge to blush. It had been a long time since he’d had someone who wanted to look out for _him_.

“Drexel told Strausser that I was a virgin,” Sebastian told Jeremy.

“A virgin in a whore house? A virgin in _Miles’_ whore house?”

Miles rolled his eyes. “Drexel made contact with Strausser about the next heroin shipment, right around the time Sebastian came to work for me.  He wasn’t a virgin when he came, but he was _new_ and popular. Drexel’s been trying to get in good with Strausser for years. I figure he thought he’d found an opportunity.”

“He’s not the one who killed Strausser,” Jeremy replied.

“He could be. Not like you can test for DNA or anything. It’s my word against his.”

“You’ve got a reputation for killing militia…and others. Your word’s not what it used to be, not with the people who matter.”

Miles swore under his breath. “I’m sure Ben could find a way to fix that.”

“Even if Ben were willing, which let’s not kid ourselves, Miles, isn’t very likely, that’s not going to help you with Randall.”

“Randall will do whatever Ben tells him to do, you know that, Jeremy.”

Jeremy nodded. “You’re a cold bastard. You know what they’ll do to him. And you’d hand over your business partner to save your own ass.”

“He’s not a very good business partner.”

Jeremy gave him a slow smile. They both knew Drexel was a worthless piece of shit.

“It’s a good deal, Jeremy.”

“Let’s say, I go alone with this idea of yours. I take Drexel with me back to Philly and Ben decides he doesn’t like it. What if he wanted you instead?”

“I guess he’ll kill you. My brother’s not exactly a forgiving man.”

“All of this over a little whore,” Jeremy said as his eyes traveled over to Sebastian. “You’d better be one hell of a lay.”

Miles landed a solid right hook to Jeremy’s face before he’d thought through his actions, which was becoming a troublesome habit of his. Things had been going so well, too. Oh well, in for a penny…

“This has nothing to do with Sebastian, and we both know it. If Ben really wanted me back in Philly, or dead, he’d’ve come himself. Killing you wouldn’t get him anything so don’t worry about yourself so much. He knows if you can’t bring me in no one can. It’s why they sent you.”

“I want something in return, Miles. We’ll call it a show of good faith.”

Miles was wary, but it wasn’t as though he had a lot of options. “What?”

“I want to see your boy here finish what I so rudely interrupted. I wasn’t lying when I told you it was a marvelous show.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Miles spun around and glared at Sebastian. “No.”

“Miles,” Sebastian said, his eyes imploring. “It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

There was nothing about the situation that Miles enjoyed. Sure, Drexel was a rat and a poor business partner, but he did know what Ben and especially Randall would do to him. Jeremy was wrong though, he wasn’t doing it to save his own ass; he didn’t really give a damn about himself, not anymore. No, he was doing it for Sebastian, a man who’d wormed his way into Miles’…he couldn’t call it a heart, men like him didn’t have hearts, but whatever approximation of a heart a man like him was allowed to have. After this, Sebastian would never turn another trick, Miles wouldn’t allow it.

“Fine.”

Miles walked over to the door and yelled out into the hallway for Danny. After telling him to secure Drexel in his room, but not to arouse his suspicions, Miles closed and _locked_ the door. For all his bravado earlier, Miles could feel the anxiety rolling off Sebastian in ugly waves. Jeremy would keep his word; they’d do this exhibition show and then he’d take Drexel off to face judgment in Philly.

The smile he offered Sebastian wasn’t much in the way of comfort, but it was the best he could manage as he closed the distance between them. He reached out and pulled Sebastian into his arms, lightly kissing him as Miles stroked his back. Jeremy was a perv, which worked to Miles’ advantage because he could draw this out, help Sebastian forget that there was anyone else in the room. Lightly, Miles ran his hands up Sebastian’s spine to his neck where he began to knead the muscles there and he smiled when he felt Sebastian sigh into his mouth. He changed the angle of the kiss, deepened it as he continued to thoroughly explore Sebastian’s mouth.

When Sebastian’s hands landed on Miles’ ass, he began to relax, knowing the he was finally loosing himself on the sensations. Miles tilted Sebastian’s head to the side and laid a trail of kisses down his neck as he ground their crotches together in a slow circle. Clearly it wasn’t enough for Sebastian who hooked his fingers into the waist of Miles’ pants and hauled him closer, grinding down hard as his fingers teased the skin above his groin. Miles bit into Sebastian’s shoulder to hide his groan, and he felt a bit of a thrill when Sebastian shuddered in his arms.

Sebastian worked his hand all the way down the front of Miles’ pants and teased Miles with his hand, his fingers lightly tracing Miles’ cock. He couldn’t keep himself from bucking into Sebastian’s hand and he felt the other man smirk against his neck as he worked his hand around Miles shaft and began a slow pace. The friction was intense and it hadn’t taken much to get Miles hard, his body instantly remembering the last time Sebastian had been this close to his cock.

“You like that?” Sebastian’s voice caressed his neck, leaving goose bumps in its wake.

“Fuck.”

Sebastian chuckled as he removed is hand and Miles could have shot him between the eyes for it, but then Sebastian was sinking to his knees and looking up at him from under lidded eyes. Miles would remember that look for the rest of his life and it would be the feature in many of his fantasies for the foreseeable future. Sebastian ran his hands up Miles’ chest, fingers pinching Miles’ nipples which made him suck in a breath, before trailing teasingly back down to the waistband of Miles’ pants.

“You want me, Miles?”

Miles’ eyes snapped open, not that he remembered closing them, and he glared at Sebastian. The bastard had a smug smile on his face, but his eyes were blown and his lips were swollen from their earlier kisses so Miles knew he wasn’t the only one affected.

“I’ll take care of you,” Sebastian whispered as his fingers traced Miles’ bellybutton. “Just tell me what you want, baby.”

From anyone else to anyone else it would just be a line from a whore looking for a good tip, but it wasn’t anyone else. It was them. And for as much as Miles tried to deny it, tried to pretend it wasn’t there…there was a ‘them’ and Sebastian meant it. The bastard did want to take care of him and Miles knew he was more lost now than he’d ever been in his life. There was no going back from this point, this moment no longer had anything to do with Jeremy or Drexel or Strausser or Ben. It was just him and Sebastian.

“You, damnit. Just you.”

It must have been the right answer because Miles’ pants were around his ankles faster than he thought possible and Sebastian’s mouth was around his cock. This was nothing like the first time, which had been amazing because Sebastian truly was talented on his knees. And he kept doing that thing with his tongue that made Miles’ eyes roll into the back of his skull. This was so much better, though. Sebastian’s hands squeezed Miles’ ass as he took Miles in further. Needing to do something, Miles ran his hands through Sebastian’s hair, fingers clenching against his scalp when he felt his cock hit the back of Sebastian’s throat.

Sebastian slowly pulled back until Miles’ cock fell from his mouth. Sebastian placed a chaste kiss on the tip and Miles couldn’t take it. He hauled Sebastian to his feet and crushed his lips to Sebastian’s. The kiss was sloppy and dirty, and Miles never wanted to stop. He swore to himself he’d lock the two of them in his room for a week and do nothing but have sex and eat. Everything else could wait. The whole world could burn to the ground. He didn’t care.

He was painfully hard, the friction between their bodies nothing compared to being inside Sebastian’s mouth. Unable to put voice to what he wanted, Miles gently pushed against Sebastian’s shoulders and with a cheeky smile Sebastian slid to his knees once again and began to suck Miles in earnest. There were no teasing licks, no slow movements. Miles felt Sebastian’s hands move back up his torso and then Sebastian was pushing his fingers into Miles’ mouth. Miles sucked them greedily, his tongue tracing the contours of each finger, tongue sliding between the fingers to nip at the juncture point causing Sebastian to hum around his cock.

Sebastian pulled his fingers from Miles’ mouth with a wet noise and Miles let out a low groan. It had been too long since he’d been with a partner who so actively sought their own pleasure. Miles wasn’t selfish with any of his bed partners, but most were respectfully submissive, given their position in the house. Miles wouldn’t have minded a more _aggressive_ bed partner, but he understood their reasons.

Miles felt he might do something embarrassing like pass out when he felt Sebastian’s finger, wet with Miles’ own spit slowly push into his hole. Sebastian’s mouth worked his cock furiously, tongue still doing that thing that made Miles’ knees week and with the added stimulation, Miles knew he wasn’t going to make it much longer. Sebastian wiggled his finger a little, shooting pleasure spiking up Miles’s spine and with a cry he figured the entire mansion could hear he came. Sebastian took as much of it as he could, but there was some staining the edges of his mouth. Before he could wipe it off, Miles pulled him up and licked himself off Sebastian’s face before kissing him deeply.

“Fucking Christ.”

Miles tore his mouth away from Sebastian and glared at Jeremy, who he’d forgotten all about in the process of getting the best blow job of his life.

“Danny has Drexel secured. Take him and leave.”

Jeremy’s mouth snapped closed and his eyes cleared. A sly smile slid across his face and if Sebastian hadn’t been holding him, Miles might have ruined everything by snapping his neck.

“Always a pleasure, Miles.”

“Get out.”

Jeremy nodded slowly and backed out of the room. Miles kissed Sebastian again because he wanted to, because he needed to, because he couldn’t seem to keep himself from touching him. Sebastian held him, hands rubbing his back soothingly. Miles had the insane urge to laugh at himself, at the situation he found himself in. Here he was being comforted by the man who’d actually been humiliated. Miles pulled back and smiled sadly at Sebastian. He pulled up his pants and followed after Jeremy without saying anything. He wouldn’t know where to start, and the conversation they needed to have would take more time than he could spare. He wasn’t a coward and he didn’t make other people do his dirty work.

He caught up with Jeremy just outside Drexel’s room. Danny’s arms were crossed against his chest and he was glaring at Jeremy.

“Come on kid, step aside. Drexel and I just need to have a little chat.”

“Go to hell.”

“Danny,” Miles interrupted, “let him in.”

“Miles?”

Miles closed his eyes. “It’s complicated, but Drexel’s going to Philly.”

“Miles, you can’t. There’s gotta be another way. The man’s a bastard, but Philly? You know what my dad will do to him.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Shut up,” Miles and Danny snapped.

Jeremy smirked but stopped talking.

“I killed Strausser. And well, this is the arrangement we made. Drexel’s the reason Strausser came for a whore anyway.”

Miles watched the change come over Danny, saw the way his eyes steeled against what he was about to do. He nodded and stepped aside.

“Good seeing you, kid,” Jeremy said as he pushed past Danny.

“Tell my _dad_ I said hi,” Danny replied, a sneer on his face.

Miles placed a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Make sure Sebastian gets some food.”

“Miles,” Drexel greeted as Miles walked into the room. “What brings you and your militia friend into my room this fine afternoon?”

“You shouldn’t have done it, Drex. I warned you,” Miles said.

“Miles, it was just a whore. It was just fun and games.”

Miles smirked, no longer feeling bad about sending him to Philly. “Tell that to Ben and Randall when you see them.”

“Miles – you’re the one who killed Strausser. Not me. You’re the one who tried to kill me. There’s no blood on my hands.”

“You knew what would happen. This was your plan from the beginning. If you really wanted the business, all you had to do was ask,” Miles told him.

“So you’re just going to hand me over to them?” Drexel asked, hysteria creeping into his voice.

“I hope your deal with Strausser was worth it. I really do.”

Jeremy put cuffs on Drexel and began to lead him from the room.

“Oh and Jeremy,” Miles called just as they reached the door. “send my brother my regards, will you?”

Jeremy glared as he hauled Drexel from the room. Miles braced his hands on the edge of the table, his head bent. He felt the full weight of the decisions he’d made, the choices he couldn’t change…everything that made him who he was. It was detestable. The runaway son of the Republic peddling flesh in a whorehouse near the border, hoping his past never tried to unearth the rock he’d hid himself under.

He didn’t even look up when the door opened, he knew who it would be, knew the feel of the lips that pressed a reassuring kiss to the back of his neck. He would know the weight and heat and the _feel_ of Sebastian’s body for the rest of his life.

“It’s over Miles,” Sebastian whispered. “And, we’re both still alive. If you keep this up, I’m going to stop believing you when we say we’re going to die in the morning.”

“It’ll never be over. You should leave,” Miles responded. “Get as far away from here as possible. It’s only a matter of time before they come for me and anyone who’s with me at the time…I can’t let that happen to you.”

“You can’t scare me into leaving.”

“You don’t even know me,” Miles said as he turned to face him. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“That’s not why I’m staying.”

“This is insane.”

Sebastian nodded. “Probably, but that doesn’t change anything. I meant what I said yesterday. You die, I’m dying with you.”

Miles licked his lip. “Okay.”

Sebastian’s smile made Miles feel warm, made him feel things he knew he didn’t deserve, but he basked in it anyway. They might not have long, but Miles was an inherently selfish creature and would take the companionship Sebastian offered for as long as he could have it. 

**~FIN~**

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd...so if you see anything let me know! 
> 
> All book quotes are from _The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner_ by James Hogg


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